As I sit here in my living room in front of the amber flamed fire, I find myself sharing this note that I randomly came across, a one-off journal/diary/rant note. I wrote this note back in September, 2010 or 07/09/2010 at 16:00 to be precise. Definitely a day of dark clouds and depressing thoughts.
18 years of getting an education. I am 25 years old. Almost 4/5th of my life and more than two thirds of my life has been spent in schools, colleges and universities. I have a decent enough CV, so i think, that would lead me to my chosen profession, or vocation as i would like to believe.
Yet, despite all of this so called learning, i still wait anxiously to greet some good news. MintfreshMuslim, you’re just what we’re looking for, with all the right qualities we require for our school. We feel you have the potential to make progress for yourself and more importantly for the children here who will come to see you as a positive role model. Please start as soon as possible, yes the job is full time and yes, it is yours to keep for good.
If only.
Ever since i left my first and last full time post, i have been hopeful that i will find something suitable. A school that needs me more than it needs me. In reality, things rarely work out how you want, the way you have it sketched out in our mind, or how you dream them up in your subconscious.
My parents had their hopes and expectations of education paying off for the hard work we put in during our growing up years. Don’t give people reason to disgrace us my mum would say. Why it is that this particular command remains constant in my mind and how did i become the one who would ultimately feel humiliated for not being employed.
It hits at you. Picks at you. The get up and go spirit has vanished and is replaced with a demoralising sense of failure. The failure on my part to be able to make something of myself. Despite all the years of sweat and tears to enable me to potentially do something useful with my life.
I pray and pray and pray. and i wait. Trying to wait patiently.
But it is testing. Very testing. My day is full of hopelessness and grey clouds.
And here I am, at the other end of the field, the lighter and brighter side. Well actually, there are still dark clouds, but only the ones in the sky outside my bay windows. Difference is, I now have the inner strength to see the bright blue sky hiding before the clouds, reminding me that nothing stays the same, saying "watch, just watch and find out". Life can change in moments and the thunder you once feared tests you to use the strength in your bones to see the fear through. It can empower you to be more determined in not giving up and to always hold on to the faith passed on through your parents. The faith to have faith in Allah subhanawatallah.
I am still 25 years old, though I don't feel it. I feel somewhat older, after everything that has been going on in my life recently (I feel I am at least 26 years old!). This year has steadied on as a progressive one mashaAllah, where no two months have ever been the same (not that they ever are, huh). And I truly have been blessed to have the support and love of my best friend and confidante, my darling hubby who has helped me get through what felt like some of the darkest months of my life. And of course my dearest and loving family, especially my mother and sisters who have been the backbone of my strength in the past ten months.
For now, I am deeply grateful to Allah for opening the right doors and windows in the events of my life this far and pray that He continues to be in my heart. My life is still happening and I need Him more than ever. I hope that I can continue in my attempt to stick to my New Year's resolution of finding happiness in whatever Allah puts me through, because like everything else preceding it, it too will pass. InshaAllah.
*25 moments in a year of being aged 25 to be noted soon.
Showing posts with label happy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label happy. Show all posts
Saturday, 18 June 2011
Tuesday, 27 April 2010
A Picstory: Honeymoon
For a long while now, I've been meaning to do a post on my honeymoon from two years back. Crikes. I've sat down numerous times to start writing something about it, anything, but have always put it off. To be honest, I don't think I could ever really write a proper account of what this honeymoon was for the hubs and I. The two weeks were spectacularly amazing and full of discoveries about not just a country we had only previously heard and read bits and bats about, but also quite importantly about ourselves as a newly married couple.
So, why Malaysia? Well way before we got married, the hubs and I picked Malaysia over all the other common honeymoon destinations for one main reason - the huge distance! We figured that it would be a seriously long time before we'd get a chance to fly out so far out and so Malaysia was booked! The four s's: sun, sea, sand and shopping - hah also helped clinch the deal! Other factors such as religion, halal food and the Grand Prix circuit the hubs wanted to visit also helped to put a stamp on our decision.
In total, we spent two weeks there, landing there on my birthday (as sweetly arranged by the hubs) in August. The pic-story will sum up what we saw and did much better than I could ever explain. There really is something very powerful about still images. Captivating snapshots of time, kept safe forever.
I can't actually remember a day when one of us (the hubs and I) don't mention something about Malaysia. Whether it's the delicious ALL HALAL food, politics, education, property or even the hijabs unique to Malaysia, we loved and still love it all. Not forgetting to mention the beautiful and warm people of Malaysia who made our stay there very pleasant. To the extent, actually, where we have a real strong desire to move out there one day. Seriously. One day soon, please God :-)
But that's a story for another day.
For now, I hope you have as much pleasure in looking through the collection of snaps as I did putting them together. Yes I am foodie, so be warned in case the pictures reduce you to salivate.
On a nicer note, Aimie darling, a personal thank you for making me write this post which has brought endless smiles to my face, reminding me of probably the most special time in my life yet. I actually felt quite sad uploading the last picture but inshaAllah, there is a whole life time of discovery left :-)
So, why Malaysia? Well way before we got married, the hubs and I picked Malaysia over all the other common honeymoon destinations for one main reason - the huge distance! We figured that it would be a seriously long time before we'd get a chance to fly out so far out and so Malaysia was booked! The four s's: sun, sea, sand and shopping - hah also helped clinch the deal! Other factors such as religion, halal food and the Grand Prix circuit the hubs wanted to visit also helped to put a stamp on our decision.
In total, we spent two weeks there, landing there on my birthday (as sweetly arranged by the hubs) in August. The pic-story will sum up what we saw and did much better than I could ever explain. There really is something very powerful about still images. Captivating snapshots of time, kept safe forever.
I can't actually remember a day when one of us (the hubs and I) don't mention something about Malaysia. Whether it's the delicious ALL HALAL food, politics, education, property or even the hijabs unique to Malaysia, we loved and still love it all. Not forgetting to mention the beautiful and warm people of Malaysia who made our stay there very pleasant. To the extent, actually, where we have a real strong desire to move out there one day. Seriously. One day soon, please God :-)
But that's a story for another day.
For now, I hope you have as much pleasure in looking through the collection of snaps as I did putting them together. Yes I am foodie, so be warned in case the pictures reduce you to salivate.
On a nicer note, Aimie darling, a personal thank you for making me write this post which has brought endless smiles to my face, reminding me of probably the most special time in my life yet. I actually felt quite sad uploading the last picture but inshaAllah, there is a whole life time of discovery left :-)
Wednesday, 24 February 2010
Two posts in one go, woohoo!
Thank you to all of you who have wished me all the best during my difficult Master's dissertation times! I can gladly say that I have now graduated and that this chapter is forever closed, alhamdulilah :-) Alhamdulilah again just because I really truly mean it!
Sunday, 13 December 2009
Hip hip!
The past couple of months have been so jam packed: unbelieeeevable!
Firstly, thedissertation stress
Second, the hubs you may well remember, passed his ACCA back in the summer and finally graduated in November! Here's a snapshot of the things we got up to in his honour:
A month straight after this, my younger and youngest sister graduated too! This time in Radiography, not ACCA! MashaAllah, I'm so proud of her achievements, especially since what we've been through recently after losing our beloved father to cancer. She really deserved a good spoiling session, and she got one!
A couple of days after this celebratory event, my best friend and I finally got to see each other after months! But in all honesty, we didn't really get to have a proper catch up (not unless you count the drive down on the motorway!) as we spent the day at the NEC Arena checking out the "latest" high street slash designer trends in the Clothes Show. I quote latest as if I'm being totally honest, the clothes on most of the rails are the stuff I've already seen down in London, so a little naff really. Anyhoo. A good time was had. Many bargains were too, had, lol, another post mebbe.
Love it! :-D
Firstly, the
Second, the hubs you may well remember, passed his ACCA back in the summer and finally graduated in November! Here's a snapshot of the things we got up to in his honour:
A month straight after this, my younger and youngest sister graduated too! This time in Radiography, not ACCA! MashaAllah, I'm so proud of her achievements, especially since what we've been through recently after losing our beloved father to cancer. She really deserved a good spoiling session, and she got one!
A couple of days after this celebratory event, my best friend and I finally got to see each other after months! But in all honesty, we didn't really get to have a proper catch up (not unless you count the drive down on the motorway!) as we spent the day at the NEC Arena checking out the "latest" high street slash designer trends in the Clothes Show. I quote latest as if I'm being totally honest, the clothes on most of the rails are the stuff I've already seen down in London, so a little naff really. Anyhoo. A good time was had. Many bargains were too, had, lol, another post mebbe.
Love it! :-D
Tuesday, 1 December 2009
Golden times
Just today, my mother-in-law (from here on I may refer to her as the MIL) were reminiscing over the by gone times. She was reminiscing about her tiny newly born baby boy with the red lips who was passed onto her by the midwife, wrapped up in a woolly blanket, cute as a button. This baby boy is now my husband and her 26 year old married son. How time flies she sighed. I remembered how my mum and dad always thought us five siblings grew up too quick and too soon, how they wished they could stop us from growing up beyond the age of 10 so that we could all stay at home and continue with the good times we all shared (although, realistically this 10 year old business could not work, how could we all be the same age, huh, heehee!). It's so sad isn't it, when your parents realise you're no longer their little child anymore and are in fact fully grown adults, living in the big bad world. That said, I think most parents will always see their child as that little baby they held in their arms or the little cute toddler good as gold.
*huge sigh*
That will be one of us one day, looking back as parents that is, inshaAllah.
Anyway. The hubs has earned lots of brownie points this week. Not only did he save me a chore by scrubbing the bathroom, head to toe, floor to ceiling, on the eve before Eid, he also very generously rewarded my uni efforts with a blingBLING watch! It's huuuuge, seriously HUUUGE!
I love it, although between you and me it's a little too much on the bling and size factor. I'm sure I'll get used to it though!
*huge sigh*
That will be one of us one day, looking back as parents that is, inshaAllah.
Anyway. The hubs has earned lots of brownie points this week. Not only did he save me a chore by scrubbing the bathroom, head to toe, floor to ceiling, on the eve before Eid, he also very generously rewarded my uni efforts with a blingBLING watch! It's huuuuge, seriously HUUUGE!
I love it, although between you and me it's a little too much on the bling and size factor. I'm sure I'll get used to it though!
Monday, 30 November 2009
Hey hey hey!
Salaam world
Firstly - EID MUBARAK, albeit a late one! I hope the past few days have been full of amazement and joy for you all iA.
Secondly - hey I'm back! Not really a cause for celebration in itself, but I'm back STRESS free!! Well kinda! Dissertation/thesis and it's 15,000 words content is now done and dusted and luckily for me, I submitted it last Thursday/Day of Arafah - which basically meant that I could celebrate Eid properly by relaxing and chilling out instead of feeling anxious every minute of the day! I feel ten tonnes lighter after having submitted it and just look forward to getting back to my normal life, without any final university hassle. Don't get me wrong, it's not that I've absolutely hated doing my Master's year, but the past six months have been really strenuous. Alhamdulilah, it is now over and I can begin a new chapter in my life, or at least carry on with the previous one!
Thirdly - I've changed my blog layout. I was getting a little tired of seeing the old plain white and green one although as effective as it was, my blog needed a new lick of paint to bring it back to life! Hope you like it :-D
Fourthly - what fourthly?! There in't one my lovelies! LOL! Allah swt truly is the most compassionate and kind, the most just and the most forgiving. I've truly appreciated His kindness over the past week and more. Leave you with that.
Much love
Fatty.
Firstly - EID MUBARAK, albeit a late one! I hope the past few days have been full of amazement and joy for you all iA.
Secondly - hey I'm back! Not really a cause for celebration in itself, but I'm back STRESS free!! Well kinda! Dissertation/thesis and it's 15,000 words content is now done and dusted and luckily for me, I submitted it last Thursday/Day of Arafah - which basically meant that I could celebrate Eid properly by relaxing and chilling out instead of feeling anxious every minute of the day! I feel ten tonnes lighter after having submitted it and just look forward to getting back to my normal life, without any final university hassle. Don't get me wrong, it's not that I've absolutely hated doing my Master's year, but the past six months have been really strenuous. Alhamdulilah, it is now over and I can begin a new chapter in my life, or at least carry on with the previous one!
Thirdly - I've changed my blog layout. I was getting a little tired of seeing the old plain white and green one although as effective as it was, my blog needed a new lick of paint to bring it back to life! Hope you like it :-D
Fourthly - what fourthly?! There in't one my lovelies! LOL! Allah swt truly is the most compassionate and kind, the most just and the most forgiving. I've truly appreciated His kindness over the past week and more. Leave you with that.
Much love
Fatty.
Tuesday, 18 August 2009
Latest finds
Being the bargain hunter that I am, I came across these great little jewellery pieces on Sunday. The hubs and I were meant to be visitng the Banksy exhibition, again, but we decided against it after witnessing the mad 4.5hours waiting queue!
Instead, we walked around in the sun and lined our bellies with grub and drinks before hitting the shops until our feet felt sore :-D
So, here are some of my latest bargain finds:
The rings, brooch and bangles cost less than a tenner from Accessorize! I was fortunate enough to find what was left of a good sale :-) and the GORGEOUS earrings were a steal at a little less than £2.00!
Now that's what I call recession busting :-D
Instead, we walked around in the sun and lined our bellies with grub and drinks before hitting the shops until our feet felt sore :-D
So, here are some of my latest bargain finds:
The rings, brooch and bangles cost less than a tenner from Accessorize! I was fortunate enough to find what was left of a good sale :-) and the GORGEOUS earrings were a steal at a little less than £2.00!Now that's what I call recession busting :-D
My baby's done it!
Salaam dear readers
How are we all today? In good spirits I hope :-)
Something quite amazing happened yesterday and I feel this event alone deserves a whole post of it's own.
*Warning: Sick bucket may be required.
Sweet baby pie, also known as the hubs, got his results yesterday at 5.20am and alhamdulilah is now a fully qualified ACCA accountant!!! He has completed all his exams, icluding the last two which he sat in June and has not only just passed, but passed with flying colours mashaAllah! Neither of us knew what to expect as the last two papers he sat were the most toughest he had sat yet. The ACCA website was incredibly jammed as ACCA hopefuls the world over were all attempting to log on at the same time to check their results. When I finally managed to log in I quickly saw the words "Pass" "Pass" and gave out a little "ahhh you've done it" scream as the hubs continued scanning the page! My in-laws were over come with joy and called half of Bangladesh to let their families know of their son's success, mashaAllah it was a great feeling :-)
I am so incredibly proud of him and it really is so heart warming to finally see the fruits of his hard labour. When the hubs and I met all those many years ago (around 5 years ago now!), he was just starting off the ACCA course and now, all those many years later - he's done it :-D InshaAllah it will give him a new uplifting courage to go on to do even greater things and to make his, and our dreams come true. Even I feel free-er knowing that he is now stress free in that department and that we can now both move on in making our dreams come true iA :-D
To celebrate, I booked us a table at our local Slug & Lettuce (no I'm not kiddin'!) and yaa, indulged in some gorgeous food. The hubs even by that point still couldn't believe he had done it and was generally in shock, so conversation largely centred on work, ACCA, and work. Blah.
Yes, that is lettuce of some sort. And no, those fried things are not slugs, but king prawns! Haaoww! :-)
Oh well. My baby's done it! Well done you!
How are we all today? In good spirits I hope :-)
Something quite amazing happened yesterday and I feel this event alone deserves a whole post of it's own.
*Warning: Sick bucket may be required.
Sweet baby pie, also known as the hubs, got his results yesterday at 5.20am and alhamdulilah is now a fully qualified ACCA accountant!!! He has completed all his exams, icluding the last two which he sat in June and has not only just passed, but passed with flying colours mashaAllah! Neither of us knew what to expect as the last two papers he sat were the most toughest he had sat yet. The ACCA website was incredibly jammed as ACCA hopefuls the world over were all attempting to log on at the same time to check their results. When I finally managed to log in I quickly saw the words "Pass" "Pass" and gave out a little "ahhh you've done it" scream as the hubs continued scanning the page! My in-laws were over come with joy and called half of Bangladesh to let their families know of their son's success, mashaAllah it was a great feeling :-)
I am so incredibly proud of him and it really is so heart warming to finally see the fruits of his hard labour. When the hubs and I met all those many years ago (around 5 years ago now!), he was just starting off the ACCA course and now, all those many years later - he's done it :-D InshaAllah it will give him a new uplifting courage to go on to do even greater things and to make his, and our dreams come true. Even I feel free-er knowing that he is now stress free in that department and that we can now both move on in making our dreams come true iA :-D
To celebrate, I booked us a table at our local Slug & Lettuce (no I'm not kiddin'!) and yaa, indulged in some gorgeous food. The hubs even by that point still couldn't believe he had done it and was generally in shock, so conversation largely centred on work, ACCA, and work. Blah.
Yes, that is lettuce of some sort. And no, those fried things are not slugs, but king prawns! Haaoww! :-)Oh well. My baby's done it! Well done you!
Friday, 10 July 2009
Award's day!
I think it's gonna be another great day alhamdulilah, I just recieved an adroable blog award! lol
I don't really know what I'm supposed to do with it, but for now I'd like to thank fab Lela from My Getaway for presenting this award. How cute! :D
I would also like to show a little appreciation for all you bloggers on my blog list who have all in some shape or form, have encouraged me to keep this thing going, so thank you to you all!
I don't really know what I'm supposed to do with it, but for now I'd like to thank fab Lela from My Getaway for presenting this award. How cute! :DI would also like to show a little appreciation for all you bloggers on my blog list who have all in some shape or form, have encouraged me to keep this thing going, so thank you to you all!
Thursday, 2 July 2009
Back up again
Hey hey
I know I haven't blogged in a long time, week maybe? It sometimes feels like a long time but then it also feels like I've never been away, yes I'm a lurker and wander around from time to time without updating my own blog! Too much has been going on since I last logged in to post. I travelled to my 'rents (a whole +3hr train journey from almost one end of the country to the other) last Friday to be there for my younger sis who was taken into hospital last week, suffering from abdominal pains. With my mum being abroad due to family business and dad being ill too, I just had to leave to be with them.
I am so grateful to Allah for blessing me with a very understanding husband and set of in-laws, who despite their own own troubles, encouraged and supported my decision to visit my family.
My sister's condition was very shocking and totally unexpected but alhamdullilah is doing much better since being given the diagnosis and appropraite medication. Please spare a thought for my sis and dad in your prayers :)
On a lighter note: IT IS BOILING! The weather has been superbly sunny and also HOT with temperatures reaching the thirties, even in the northern parts of England! The sunny weather hasn't put a stop to people (self included) complaining about the massive heat wave however! Yes, we (as in Brits!) will complain about the weather come rain or shine, thunder or snow! lol
And on that note, I'm off to grab me a cool lime squash!
I know I haven't blogged in a long time, week maybe? It sometimes feels like a long time but then it also feels like I've never been away, yes I'm a lurker and wander around from time to time without updating my own blog! Too much has been going on since I last logged in to post. I travelled to my 'rents (a whole +3hr train journey from almost one end of the country to the other) last Friday to be there for my younger sis who was taken into hospital last week, suffering from abdominal pains. With my mum being abroad due to family business and dad being ill too, I just had to leave to be with them.
I am so grateful to Allah for blessing me with a very understanding husband and set of in-laws, who despite their own own troubles, encouraged and supported my decision to visit my family.
My sister's condition was very shocking and totally unexpected but alhamdullilah is doing much better since being given the diagnosis and appropraite medication. Please spare a thought for my sis and dad in your prayers :)
On a lighter note: IT IS BOILING! The weather has been superbly sunny and also HOT with temperatures reaching the thirties, even in the northern parts of England! The sunny weather hasn't put a stop to people (self included) complaining about the massive heat wave however! Yes, we (as in Brits!) will complain about the weather come rain or shine, thunder or snow! lol
And on that note, I'm off to grab me a cool lime squash!
Tuesday, 2 June 2009
All smiles :-)
Hello hello and hello :-)
Hope you're well and happy iA.
I haven't blogged in a few days now, although I haven't been too far away, just haven't had the urge to get things written down recently. Anyway, a little update on everything typeworthy so far:
Hope you're well and happy iA.
I haven't blogged in a few days now, although I haven't been too far away, just haven't had the urge to get things written down recently. Anyway, a little update on everything typeworthy so far:
- My beloved dad hasn't been too well (will explain later) and was asked to stay over night at the hospital, seems like he will be there for another night only iA before being discharged - he is not in a critical state and is as fine as can be right now :-) . I ask all of you reading this post to take a micro-second of your time when you close your eyes/bow your heads or just remember your beloved God to make a small prayer for dad's health recovery. InshaAllah.
- I have a job! Remember my previous rambling about the possibility of working in a girl's school? Well, I recieved an email yesterday with an offer for the post, which by the way, I only read this morning! I'm so over the moon about this as I genuinely began thinking that there was no way I'd be in employment this September! The relief is just incredible and was evident from the moment I broke the news to hubby and my in-laws. Everyone I think, is just relieved for me as they were worried about me worrying! I'm just waiting for the official contract which will be agreed once the teaching references come through, nothing to worry about iA.
- Thirdly....hmm, nothing else really 'cept that I've been all smiles today, as pointed out by the hubby! I don't think I've looked this happy since,...., I can't remember! All thanks to the most beautiful and kind Almighty :-)
So then. I think I'll leave it here for now before I ramble on and on and on and on...lol
By the way, before I am off, a BIG HEY to my new blog followers: Queen and Aimie. I have been a reader of your blogs for a while now and it is because of all of you sisters (and my hubby's suggestion) that I have felt inspired to start writing a blog. Glad to know I'm not just writing into an empty virtual space!
Cool and out :-)
By the way, before I am off, a BIG HEY to my new blog followers: Queen and Aimie. I have been a reader of your blogs for a while now and it is because of all of you sisters (and my hubby's suggestion) that I have felt inspired to start writing a blog. Glad to know I'm not just writing into an empty virtual space!
Cool and out :-)
Friday, 29 May 2009
Things I love right now...
No point moping around, especially not on a day like this when the temp is 23C! High enough to put a :-) on any one's face!
By the way, you may be wondering why am I indoors on a gorg day like this. Reason is because the hubby has his final exams starting next week, so the last thing I want to be doing is enjoy the weather by myself!
So what am I loving right now:
By the way, you may be wondering why am I indoors on a gorg day like this. Reason is because the hubby has his final exams starting next week, so the last thing I want to be doing is enjoy the weather by myself!
So what am I loving right now:
- Lovely weather and the blue skies it brings with it
- Hubby, lots and lots and lots
- The plethora of music I've recently dld! Esp the Kings of Leon album (from last year, I must add, better late than never!)
- Smell of freshly washed clothes - yes, that's right, I'm loving the smell of washing powder/softner, lol
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)